Chicken Jokes

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and
dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change!
The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken
to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets
the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after
the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before
adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it
in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released /eChicken 2008/, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of /eChicken 2008/. This new
platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Blue Sky Cellar

Ok, for all of those who don't know, Disney's California Adventure just opened their "Blue Sky Cellar". This is a minor attraction which will showcase the upcoming attractions inside the park. They are now showing several drawings, models, and ideas for the first phase of the parks' $1.1 Billion dollar makeover. Such attractions that will debute are The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Adventure, Goofy's Flight School (rethemed Mulholland madness), CarsLand, and a new water show (The World of Color). I suggest checking out these links to Micechat. They have several pictures of the Cellar, and the new attractions! Leave a comment and tell me what you think!!
>>Jake
The Cellar
http://micechat.com/disneyland-news/california-adventure-fix/
The Project Tracker 1
http://micechat.com/forums/disneyland-resort/101817-disneyland-project-tracker.html
Updated project Tracker
http://micechat.com/forums/disneyland-resort/105589-disneys-california-adventure-project-tracker-ii.html

New Johnny Depp Films!!!!

Thanks to the guys who run the Mouse Guest Weekly podcast, news has been slowly leaking out that Johnny Depp will be working for Disney for the next few years. He is set to play in three new movies. The first, a remake of the all time Disney classic, "Alice in Wonderland". Tim Burton is directing, and Johnny is cast to play the Mad Hatter. The next is The Lone Ranger. Johnny is not playing the Lone Ranger, but Tonto, TLR's right hand man. And last but not least, Captain Jack is BACK! He is rumored to be coming back for the fourth installment of the Pirates franchise. No set date of the release has been confirmed, but it is rumored for summer 2011. Keep checking back for more updates of these, and more movies coming out!
>>Jake

Random Thoughts....

Ok, I'm now sitting here, at 6:35pm, pacific standard time, thinking about what i want to do with my life। I love doing alot of diferent things, which makes it hard to choose. I might be a movie director/producer/writer, something to do with movies. I really love working with video/audio, and making something that appeals to a large audience, with a good message. I think that you can be a christian, and make a movie with smoking/drinking. However, it's gotta be in the quality, not quantity. If a story calls for a drink to be shown, then I'd show it. Even though I'm not for drinking, I still think that if a movie has a bar scene in it, well, I'd still shoot it. I'm just ranting and raving about a boatload of stuff I've been thinking about. I'm also thinking about ministry. If God calls me into it, well, its up to him, I go where he tells me. I gotta go, I will finish this post later on.
>>Jake

Football BCHS vs Coast Union

Man, friday night lights is so much fun! We played against Coast Union, which really Suuuuucks. They will get better in time. Jv won 48-16, and Varsity won 48-14. The Frosh-soph got to play that night, because Coach Mac wanted a bigger team, not only to intimidate, but in case we got a huge lead early in the game, frosh-soph could gain experience by playing against a "JV" team. It was alot of fun, and the next game for F/S is in two weeks agains Wasco. That should be a great game as well, because Wasco has a program that filters the kids along, from Golden Empire youth league, all the way up to high school.

Football

Man, football is a tough sport! We had a game last thursday, and it was soooo much fun to play against another color!!!! I play on the O-line, and had to block a guy that was 6-3, and weighed as much as a frieght train! It was alot of fun, but now I'm sore!!! Well, I'm going to finish my homework, will post later.
See ya,
>>Jake

camping trip

Mission Trip

I went down to L.A with my youth group on a mission trip. It was so amazing! We went all around L.A with the Dream Center passing out food, helping with the kids ministry, etc. I would love to do it again, and I would recommend anyone to do it.

Here's Your Elephants Emily! ! !

Sorry I haven't posted your pic of the elephants emily. I promised I would, so here's a pic just for you!

More San Diego Pictures ! ! ! !

Here's more pictures from the recent San Diego trip with my family. We had a lot of fun. The zoo was really neat, and Sea World was fun.

San Diego

Hey Everyone! We just got down to San Diego. My Mom, Sister, and I will be going to the Zoo tomorrow with some friends, and then Sunday we will be going to Sea World. It was a fun ride down. We stopped at Disneyland, rode Soarin Over California, and got some ice cream. Here's some pictures from coming down here, and I will post pictures of the zoo tomorrow night!
>>Jake

Disneyland

Hey everyone, my family and I went down to Disneyland before Christmas and had a BLAST! The new holiday decorations were beautiful, and they had alot of new stuff. They decorated the castle, there is new fireworks, and so much more. Here's some pictures of my trip to explain better. . . . .

New Plans for California Adventure!

ANAHEIM, Calif. -- Since its 2001 debut, the Walt Disney Co. theme park Disney's California Adventure has floundered in the shadow of its legendary neighbor, Disneyland. To fix it, Disney is now planning a $1.1 billion overhaul -- the most extensive makeover the company has ever given to a theme park.

Disney's board recently approved the investment, which will be poured into California Adventure over roughly five years, according to people familiar with the plan. The sum is particularly significant, considering the theme park cost around $1 billion to build and Disney has already spent more than $100 million trying to improve it.

Originally aimed at luring visitors to spend more time and money at the Disneyland Resort, California Adventure has been criticized as lacking Disney's trademark creative spark. The California theme has fallen flat with visitors from the western U.S., who make up the bulk of attendance. Last year, the park drew just under six million visitors, compared with nearly 15 million at Disneyland and short of Disney's original forecast of seven million visitors a year for the new park.

Now Disney hopes to turn the park around by making it more like its successful neighbor, filled with references to company founder Walt Disney, say people familiar with the plan. A key project will be redesigning the entrance plaza, now a hodgepodge of California icons, and replacing it with something akin to Disneyland's signature Main Street.

Just as Main Street harks back to Walt Disney's hometown of Marceline, Mo., in the early 1900s, California Adventure's new entrance will trace the footsteps of Walt Disney from when he arrived in Los Angeles in the 1920s, these people say. Similar to Disneyland's iconic castle, the redesigned park will feature a replica of Hollywood's former Carthay Circle theater, where Walt Disney premiered the movie "Snow White" in 1937.

The new-look park also will be expanded by around 12 acres and will bulk up its attractions, with a heavy emphasis on animated movies created by Pixar, including "Cars" and "Toy Story."

Jay Rasulo, who inherited California Adventure when he became president of the parks in 2002, says the park has had some success in extending the time visitors spend at the resort as a whole and does have some popular rides. But he concedes: "Guests have told us that when they stand in California Adventure, they don't have an emotional connection to it." Mr. Rasulo declined to comment on the investment Disney is making.

Several of Disney's efforts in recent years have had teething problems that forced Disney to spend big money on efforts to fix them, raising questions about Disney's theme-park strategy. New Disney parks in Paris and Hong Kong -- seen as too small and lacking insight into the cultures they serve -- have needed big additional investments after initially drawing slim crowds.

When Walt Disney created Disneyland in 1955, and the company started the Disney World resort in Orlando, Fla., in 1971 with the first Magic Kingdom park, the parks were powerful brand builders. But it is unclear whether that is still the case in the 21st century, when kids are more interested in the Internet and Disney has more tools to play with, such as the relatively investment-light but popular Disney Channel.

Disney maintains its parks are a good return on investment. In fiscal 2006, they accounted for almost 30% of the company's total revenue of $34 billion and reported 30% growth in operating income. Mr. Rasulo says the parks are long-term undertakings and the company always anticipates having to invest in changes. Walt Disney himself said Disneyland was never finished.

Even so, California Adventure has had special problems. On a recent afternoon at the Disneyland Resort, 18-year-old season-pass holder Megan White made a standard complaint: "Disneyland is a magical place, but California Adventure is just a theme park you can get anywhere." Ms. White, of Valencia, Calif., adds she spends most of her visits at Disneyland, only entering California Adventure for one or two rides because it has "no imagination."

California Adventure was the result of a years-long attempt to build on Disneyland's success. In 1991, Disney originally announced it was working on a plan to build Westcot, a West Coast version of Disney's Florida park, Epcot, which had opened nearly a decade earlier.

According to people involved, Disney's then-chief executive, Michael Eisner, was eager to replicate the successful model of Walt Disney World in Florida, which had grown to include several theme parks, a fleet of hotels and a thriving retail and entertainment district. The expansions created a destination that families sometimes visit for a week.

But Westcot came with a price tag of as much as $3 billion and, according to these people, Mr. Eisner got cold feet after the new Disney park outside Paris became a financial and public-relations nightmare.

In 1995, Disney ditched Westcot. In the summer of that year, Mr. Eisner held a three-day retreat in Aspen, Colo., where about 30 executives came up with an idea for a California-themed park, say people at the meeting. Mr. Eisner chose Disneyland chief Paul Pressler to oversee a $1.4 billion project in Anaheim that included California Adventure, a retail district and hotels.

He positioned the new park as a contemporary alternative to Disneyland. It included three main areas: the Hollywood Pictures back lot; the Golden State wharf, which included offbeat, decidedly sedate features like a vegetable garden and tortilla factory; and the carnival-style Paradise Pier, anchored by a big, traditional roller coaster.

When the park opened in 2001, visitors complained it was light on rides and that the ones there lacked the imagination of Disneyland hits such as the indoor roller coaster Space Mountain. As a brigade of Web sites savaged the park, a perception set in that it was a dud.

Mr. Pressler, who left Disney in 2002, says the park suffered from comparisons to its successful neighbor, but he denies the budget was ever a problem. "What we missed the mark on was not having enough for young kids compared to the Magic Kingdom," he says. He quickly added new rides: The vegetable garden was replaced by A Bug's Land, based on the 1998 Pixar movie "A Bug's Life." Disney also later added a $100 million attraction called The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror.

The Disneyland resort as a whole, especially the Downtown Disney retail district and hotels, succeeded in increasing visitors' average stay from one day to two. But attendance at California Adventure languished, while Disneyland was bursting at the seams.

Bob Iger, who took over as Disney chief executive in 2005, asked the company's legendary theme-park designers -- known as Imagineers -- to come up with a plan about a year ago, according to people involved in the planning. An initial idea was to combine Disneyland and California Adventure, creating a massive park that required one ticket. But the investment in infrastructure to transport visitors around that area was prohibitive, so they focused instead on creating a second Disneyland.

This summer, Disney hired theme-park consultant Bob Weis to oversee the new project. The remake is a complex undertaking, according to people familiar with the situation. Disney plans to keep California Adventure open during the five-year project, a plan that will require visitors to navigate construction zones and initially go in through a temporary entrance. Disney has no plans to discount ticket prices during that period, they say. Though prices vary, an adult ticket for a day at either park now costs $66, while a combined ticket is $91.

Mr. Weis will add a new area called Cars Land, which will re-create the fictional town of Radiator Springs from the 2006 Pixar movie "Cars," say people familiar with the plans. The centerpiece will be a cutting-edge attraction in the style of Disneyland's popular "Indiana Jones" ride.

Addressing criticism of Paradise Pier, Mr. Weis plans to add a flagship ride based on the 1989 animated movie "The Little Mermaid" and another on the 1995 feature "Toy Story," the people say. The Mulholland Madness ride, which re-creates a careening drive along a famous Los Angeles street, will be rethemed featuring Disney characters. Others, like the Maliboomer thrill ride, are likely to be axed.

It is still unclear what will happen to the name, as the company sees appeal in the words "Disney," "California" and "Adventure," these people say. But there is a big risk in leaving it the same. That said, some unusual relics will be left untouched for now, including the tortilla-making factory and a bread-baking demonstration. A person familiar with the plan says the Golden State area isn't considered as thematically out-of-place as others in the new plan and won't be changed in the near-term.

Rollercoasterof Love <3 <3 <3 <3

Really cool video. I love this group. Plus the dude that designed the coaster is totally CRAZY! I lost count after the 5th inversion. It is really awesome though.

Rockin Both Parks