Bored? So am I. Read this to relieve boredom. It'll help.

I like Bob Marley music in the morning. I enjoy painting. I prefer stuffed animals. Not the cutesy teddy bears and giraffes. I'm talking life size Gazelles and zebras. I like being messy, but in an organized manner. I like keeping my Christmas tree up way past Christmas. I once stole first base while rounding second. Had lunch with the pope in a bar. Curator of African safari jerky, and distributor of Italian sliced Hams. Climbed Pikes Peak in nothing but jogging shoes and rubber ducky boxers. I am that little ewok in the background...no not the one with the spear. The one that stands next to Han Solo. That one. I kiss exotic women, but only when the tide is in. Pepsi is the drink of choice. Helped Alicia Beth Moore come up with the stage name P!nk, while sitting at a cafe in downtown L.A. drinking blueberry smoothies. I coined the term "Bacon is meat candy". Once won a round of paintball without getting shot, and only used a pistol. Foreign cars aren't so foreign to me. Expert in poker, veteran in love, outlaw in Peru. I can bake 30 minute brownies in 15 minutes. Redbox gives me a two day movie rental for a quarter. Tweeter of facts, blogger of sorts, connoisseur of exotic sodas. My zip drives unzip themselves. While climbing a mountain in the peruvian alps, it sneezed and blew me and three sheep into the next county. I landed on my feet, in a boat with none other than Jimmy Buffet captaining the vessel. He then motored us to shore where we went to Margaritaville to drink Pina Coladas. When VW Bugs see me, they punch each other. went snowboarding two of my friends. I used a surfboard. Drinking pepsi from a glass coke-a-cola cup is considered normal. I expect the unexpected, and punch someone when they tell me to expect the unexpected. As I walk away I tell them 'Didn't expect that, now did ya?' Saved a grandmother's kitten from a tree. A beautiful feline, a regal, 23 year old blond college undergrad studying ancient Mayan medicine techniques. Asked her to marry me. She said yes. But only because she wanted to get married before the world ended in 2012. Once made a foreign film in sarcasm. No one caught on. Ate a teaspoon full of cinnamon and never choked.