Chicken Jokes

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and
dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change!
The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized
the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the
other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken
to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets
the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now
against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after
the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him
realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before
adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he
wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life
like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have
not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it
in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I
had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the
chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of
how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in
peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released /eChicken 2008/, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of /eChicken 2008/. This new
platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Blue Sky Cellar

Ok, for all of those who don't know, Disney's California Adventure just opened their "Blue Sky Cellar". This is a minor attraction which will showcase the upcoming attractions inside the park. They are now showing several drawings, models, and ideas for the first phase of the parks' $1.1 Billion dollar makeover. Such attractions that will debute are The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Adventure, Goofy's Flight School (rethemed Mulholland madness), CarsLand, and a new water show (The World of Color). I suggest checking out these links to Micechat. They have several pictures of the Cellar, and the new attractions! Leave a comment and tell me what you think!!
>>Jake
The Cellar
http://micechat.com/disneyland-news/california-adventure-fix/
The Project Tracker 1
http://micechat.com/forums/disneyland-resort/101817-disneyland-project-tracker.html
Updated project Tracker
http://micechat.com/forums/disneyland-resort/105589-disneys-california-adventure-project-tracker-ii.html

New Johnny Depp Films!!!!

Thanks to the guys who run the Mouse Guest Weekly podcast, news has been slowly leaking out that Johnny Depp will be working for Disney for the next few years. He is set to play in three new movies. The first, a remake of the all time Disney classic, "Alice in Wonderland". Tim Burton is directing, and Johnny is cast to play the Mad Hatter. The next is The Lone Ranger. Johnny is not playing the Lone Ranger, but Tonto, TLR's right hand man. And last but not least, Captain Jack is BACK! He is rumored to be coming back for the fourth installment of the Pirates franchise. No set date of the release has been confirmed, but it is rumored for summer 2011. Keep checking back for more updates of these, and more movies coming out!
>>Jake

Random Thoughts....

Ok, I'm now sitting here, at 6:35pm, pacific standard time, thinking about what i want to do with my life। I love doing alot of diferent things, which makes it hard to choose. I might be a movie director/producer/writer, something to do with movies. I really love working with video/audio, and making something that appeals to a large audience, with a good message. I think that you can be a christian, and make a movie with smoking/drinking. However, it's gotta be in the quality, not quantity. If a story calls for a drink to be shown, then I'd show it. Even though I'm not for drinking, I still think that if a movie has a bar scene in it, well, I'd still shoot it. I'm just ranting and raving about a boatload of stuff I've been thinking about. I'm also thinking about ministry. If God calls me into it, well, its up to him, I go where he tells me. I gotta go, I will finish this post later on.
>>Jake

Football BCHS vs Coast Union

Man, friday night lights is so much fun! We played against Coast Union, which really Suuuuucks. They will get better in time. Jv won 48-16, and Varsity won 48-14. The Frosh-soph got to play that night, because Coach Mac wanted a bigger team, not only to intimidate, but in case we got a huge lead early in the game, frosh-soph could gain experience by playing against a "JV" team. It was alot of fun, and the next game for F/S is in two weeks agains Wasco. That should be a great game as well, because Wasco has a program that filters the kids along, from Golden Empire youth league, all the way up to high school.