Little Moments

I'm sitting in class. It's 6:42pm as I'm writing this. It's halloween. Kids are out there trick or treating, fulfilling their night portraying their favorite superhero, cowgirl, vampire, and so on. My sisters are out at a church party with my girlfriend right now. And I'm missing out.

Some might think this isn't a big deal. I do. I've grown up being really close to my family. Close as in my parents know everything, even if I don't tell them, they can just tell something is up with me. My sisters are the greatest ever, and always make me smile, despite arguing with them every so often. Being close like this means I very much look forward to the family vacations, the movie nights at home, or the football games for dad. And especially nights like this.

I think this is really hitting me hard this year because life is finally hitting me. And it sucks. I don't want to be here. I want to be with my family. I want to see my baby sister Hannah's excited face when she's running around doing those cheaply themed carnival games, loading up on candy she'll never eat. It's hitting me, because I had a long period of time earlier this year I was, for lack of better words, an ass to everyone. I was miserable with the girl I was dating, because how torn between her and my family I was, and I missed out on a lot of family things, because I felt that the girlfriend was higher priority, because I let her control things. I shouldn't have, but I did. And it hurt my relationship with my family. I missed out on my sister's gymnastic performance. I missed my dad's football stuff. I didn't even do fantasy baseball leagues with my dad, and that's not like me.

But now that the past is behind me, and I'm where I know I belong in life right now, I don't want to miss any more. I hate myself for being mean to my family back then, and I want to correct that. I know I can't make up for lost time, but I want to be there for the future time. I don't know what my plans for college are yet, but I really want to be close. I don't want to be in the world alone yet, and somewhere where I miss out on a gymnastics performance of Hannah's, or getting to take photos of my sister's first date.

If anything, I wish more people would spend time with family, as well. A lot of friends want to move out and go away from their family because they hate it, and some deserve to. But things aren't always as bad as they sometimes seem, and those little moments of laughter in the kitchen from a surprise attack of a wet towel war, or food fight. They're disappearing faster than I want, and I want to hold onto these as long as I can.

Paradise Dreams

Reworked an old work I wrote a while back. Let me know what you think of this. 

I miss the beach.

I want to feel the cold Pacific Ocean surround me as I surf through the barrel of that perfect breaking left wave as the latest storm rolls in from the middle of ocean.

That sticky feeling of dried saltwater after surfing, and my hair’s all a mess 'cause I left my hat at home.

I want the smell of my favorite local seafood place just up the block from the sand, swirling its tempting, salty, buttery aromas in front of me, luring my stomach into endless groans of hunger.

Then,

There's my girl.

The girl who is right next to me on the waves.

The girl who constantly loves to run her fingers playfully through my messy head of hair.

That same girl who walks with me hand in hand, playing with my fingers, walking up to that restaurant right off the beach, and we smile at the owners as we walk in, and chat about the earlier surf session.

The same girl who leaves her car parked down at the beach, and we decide to walk back to her house up the hill.

The girl that wants me, and only me to kiss her goodnight, but somehow delays it for forty five minutes as we end up sitting and talking under that soft yellow glow of the single porch light, watching the storm creep closer on the horizon.

And as we say goodnight, I can still imagine it all going on as if it were yesterday.

College in the Midwest sucks when you grow up your whole life living in paradise.

Tailgating to Stargaze

Simple is often better. In the case of last night, that's for sure. Like a lot of people on this earth, I've had my share of hard times. Mine might be easier than some, or harder than others. But that's the beauty of humanity. We're all on our own levels in life.

I've had a few broken hearts. I've broken a few hearts. But last night, nothing was broken. 

My mom had to borrow my car for a trip, and dad had the other family car, so I used his truck to drive. It's a behemoth of machinery. Ford F-350, crew cab, extended bed. The kind of truck that you pick motorcycles and honda civics out of the grill.

My girlfriend works as a part-time DJ at the local radio station, and she had a shift last night on air. I came in the last hour to hang out before getting dinner, and it was a lot of fun to just sit and watch her in her element. After she ended her shift, we bounced out of there, and went over to her family's house for dinner, which was amazing. It's always fun getting to have just a lighthearted and easy going conversation with people on any topic, and that's how it is all the time with them. Actually, thanks to her parents talking about their vacation and spa package they got, I wanna throw my wallet at the next sauna I see and say "have this for the next few months".

Zombies, or Junior High students? Probably both..

After dinner we decided to go do the final maze at the local Haunt attraction. Wasn't scary...because all it was, was a corn maze. But still, holding her hand and walking around in circles and losing track of where North or South was was entertaining enough. Once we finally made it out of the maze, and away from the crowd of short Junior High kids, who all had the similar arrogant independence that only comes with the age, we made our way back to the truck to leave.

We didn't really know what we wanted to do. The showtimes at the movies weren't right for what we wanted to watch, and the mazes aren't that scary once you go through them after the first time. So we just decided to get coffee and see where the night led. So we drove over to Starbucks, got coffee, and decided to drive around.

With Jack Fm playing this odd playlist (seriously, Katy Perry playing right after Creedence Clearwater?), we drove around for probably an hour just listening to music and talking about school, family, and life. Then we found a half-constructed road that should, by now have had houses surrounding it, but thanks to the market crash, PVC Pipe, rebar wire and ditches surrounded the sides of the asphalt, unattended for who knows how long.

I crawl the truck to a stop, flick the lights off, shut off the engine, and we step out into the somewhat cool night. Tailgate down. Coffee in hand. We sit. I hold her hand, and she smiles.

For the next two hours we sit and take an occasional time lapse photo (that turned out terrible, thanks to not working with my new camera much..) of the night sky. But we talk. About God. The Universe, childhood traditions, favorite sodas, and eighties movies. What we want with our lives, and where we want to be in ten years. That's all we did, and it was amazing.

From my previous posts on this blog, you'll know that I cherish innocence, and that's exactly what this night was. It was fun, easy, and innocent. The fact that two teenagers (soon to be one, thanks to my 20th birthday coming up in 10 days) could sit and talk, and beat the stereotype that teens are unable to control their emotions and desires of physicality (I'm being polite here. You know exxxactly what I'm talking about), was another thing that I appreciate about last night, and the relationship period.

The future is unknown, but I know something about it. I found someone who I want to share it with, and hope that I can. God willing, it can happen. 

Can't You See That It's Just Raining...

...there ain't no need to go outside.

Today I woke up to a dark room. Obviously, since it was 5:45 A.M. Steve and Geoff woke me up from my small sony radio alarm clock with some chat about thunder and lightning. Day's already better. But it's not. What'd make it even better is a scene like this.

Waking up early to rain lightly tapping the window. Just loud enough to keep you awake, but soft enough to make you want to hide under those heavy, goose down covers. Then hearing your name from across the bed from the girl you love, saying "Honey, it's time to get up." After those words are whispered through the sheets, there's that light shuffling and gentle movement towards you, with a warm and comforting hand rubbing across your back, and that kiss that energizes one faster than any espresso ever would.

As you hit the cold, wooden floor of the urban, third floor apartment, the quick change of temperature temporarily takes your breathe away, but you quickly regain it as you walk into the kitchen to pour the coffee that's heated and ready to go, thanks to the pre-set timer. She's already in there, wearing your hoodie and those long pajama bottoms that have monkeys all over. She hands you a cup of the hazelnut blend your dad got you, just because he was thinking about you the other day at Starbucks, and you take a sip. You kiss her, even with morning breathe mixed with coffee. She doesn't mind, because she loves you.

Since this scene would be ideally perfect, this isn't a work day. Time to lounge, since the rain's keeping both of you in. Jeans and old hoodies, with a big blanket on the couch. You spend the morning watching old movies, and her laying on your shoulder. Around early evening, you finally get ready for the night, and dress up a little bit. You have a surprise for her, it's advance screening tickets to the new movie she wants to see. Since it's cold out, you bundle up and get ready to go. Black jackets and dark denim jeans, you both head out to the car and drive into the city. The clouds have a near-apocalyptic orange glow from the city lights, almost as if a riot could break out at any chance, but it's peacefully calm around the city.

Dinner at a quiet cafe with clam chowders and chicken soups, the meal keeps both of you warm and cozy. You know the owners of the cafe, so there's a nice discount, just because he's in a giving mood. As dinner's done, it's a quick walk to the small theater the films being shown at, so you go arm in arm, down the block.

The movie's great. Good drama, clever humor, and a pinch of romance added in. It's enough to garner a potential oscar, only because of the leading actress's role.

When everyone's filed out of the theater, you pull her close as you talk, only to cut her off as she's talking with a kiss under the white lights of the theater marquee. It's a kiss that leaves you dizzy, and breathless. As the night ends, you walk back to the car and head home, only to fall asleep to what you woke up to. The rain lightly tapping the window..

Don't Ever Grow Up

Showing my baby sister the plan for the day..I was around four at the time.

Oh man tonight's hard. I don't even know why. I have my Disneyland audio on shuffle, and more of the older audio has been coming on, and I'm sitting here thinking about life, and all of these memories are flooding back to me. Disney's been a large part of my childhood just like many other children. But as I started to grow, I took that part of my childhood and started to apply to wanting to make the magic happen that I once fell in love with for others. No, I don't work for the mouse, but it doesn't stop me from dreaming and thinking about what I could someday do. 

But that's off topic. Tonight's hard for me because I'm sitting here listening to my childhood, and thinking about the trips my family's taken over the years. How I can hear this: 

And instantly go back to one of the most vivid memories ever for me. 

You see, it was Valentine's Day. Fourth Grade. My school planned a visit to the San Fernando Mission that day, and my mama was a chaperon on our trip. We explored the mission and learned a lot, but my mom had something else planned that I didn't know about. She signed me out early, and 'kidnapped' me for a mama/son date at Disneyland for Valentine's Day. Thanks to traffic, it took us three hours from San Fernando to reach Disneyland, but that didn't stop us! I got to pick dinner, so we made our way to one of my favorite restaurants, the Plaza Inn at the corner of Main Street. Dining on a chicken leg, biscuits and lemonade, we watched the parade go by, and then once we were done, made our way to Pirates of the Caribbean. I can still remember how surprisingly busy it was, but we walked around and I got to pick every ride to go on. From Pirates, to Matterhorn, to Autopia, and the train, we rode only four rides that night before heading home, but not before we stopped at the lego store to get any lego I wanted under $10. 

And that's just one of the memories I have...

It's not just a day like that with my mom that's getting me. It's the fact I can still imagine as a younger child how huge Disneyland seemed. How amazing it was to just walk from a jungle, right into the frontier west, and believe that it was actually a real world, and not the world we live in. How I could fight alongside pirates, and then float around with ghosts in that old Mansion by the river. Everything was so beyond real, that I never could see the literal mechanisms that power those Pirates or Ghosts. It was always reality to me that they existed, and that's what makes me fall in love with Disney all over: the fact that there's so many hidden things that unless you know what to look for, you miss it, and missing the literal nature of the rides often times makes things so much better. 

This brings me to my closing. Disneyland was made for the "ideals, dreams and hard facts that created America, with the hopes that would be a source of joy, and inspiration to all the world" (Walt Disney's opening day speech). It's the one place in the world specifically designed with the intent to leave your troubles at the door, and just embrace the wonders of pure imagination and magic. Tonight, it's hard because I'm listening to the past audio of yesterland, and thinking about how innocent, how wonderful it was to just not know about what MADE things what they were, and just embrace the fact that it was there. It was magic of Mickey's sorcerer wand that brought things to life. It was the pixie dust that made things fly. Now that I'm 15 days away from turning 20, it's a hard pill to swallow when people are so cynical, and so negative about the world. They have to find something, anything, about everything to nitpick at. They can't just take things without questioning if it's something legitimate or not. That actually really brings me down, because there's so much that people miss out on when they lose sight of how being purely innocent and practically naive, can actually make things better for you. Having friends talk about who they're hooking up with, or what party they're going to makes me want to crawl back down the rabbit hole even more, because we're still young! We're only 18, 19, 20..there's still 60 or 70 years in our lives, why start with all those 'experiences' now, when we're still able to just stay youthful, and focus on the innocence of the world, or what's left of it? As long as I live, I am going to fight to maintain as much of that innocent magic as I can. If not for myself, then for the future generations that start to fall in love with Disney like I did. 

Agumented Fantasy(land)

There was a catchy article over at Blue Sky Disney on the future of Disney and how they're going to handle the transistion to digital streaming ala Netflix-style. There's talk of their own app for all things Disney past and current, but really that's kept under close watch inside the walls of the Mouses' tech HQ.

What got me thinking though, was this relatively new technology that has some really amazing potential. Augmented Reality takes any smart phone and can turn it into a new world on your phone. What "A.R." is, is utilizing your camera on your smart phone, mixed with GPS locationing on your phone, and giving you a chance to post on a 'wall' or suspend a photo in the middle of digital air. For example...

 This idea stemmed from one of the few games I play on my iPhone/iPad, Simpson's Tapped Out. The style is very akin to the old VMK game, with high camera frame, and building your own world. It's definitely a fun way to pass time waiting for meetings.

What I think has the potential here though, is combining augmented reality tech with a virtual magic kingdom. Unfortunately, I can see Walt Disney World getting this before Disneyland, simply because of the Kim Possible/Agent P mission games they have had in EPCOT. I'd love to see this in the original park first though.

Utilizing A.R. tech with VMK game play, iPhone/android users would be able to log into an app that would give them quest missions inside the theme park to gain prizes and points for their characters back on the computer at home. Imagine walking through Sleeping Beauty's Castle Walkthrough attraction, gaining coins along the walkway on your phone, allowing you to gain money to buy more things than you normally would on the game at home. Or walking past Tom Sawyer's island, and seeing Maleficent, and through your phone you yourself have to battle against her to save the island, ala Fantasmic! finale.

This wouldn't just be coins and battles though. Taking it a step higher with that rumored KeyChest, adding smaller animatronics throughout the park to interact with the game's coding to give you clues to hidden missions and hidden items to find in the park.

With the right designing, this is something that I think could make guests' visits that much more exciting when they're in line for pirates, and these paintings come to life through their phone to tell them to look out for Blackbeard or Davy Jones..